Birthdays Suck

It's 5 oclock in the morning, 3days after the fact, and all i can think about is my birthday. It's not the getting older part, i'm actually okay with that for the most part. Other than the biological clock that keeps ticking away. It's the lack of fanfare. The big whooplah is gone. There is nothing. I awoke on my birthday, in a state of ongoing semi-depression, ready for the busiest day of the month at work. Vinnie wished me happy birthday, sweet and half asleep. Okay so it's not going to be such a bad day. On the way to work my step son called to wish me a happy birthday. Made my day. Unexpected and meant alot to me. The rest of the day went drudgingly. Work was work, altho my boss and his wife did have flowers DELIVERED to me, beautiful, altho i cant remember what they are called. They're like a cross between sunflowers and daisys. Very sweet and unexpected. Vinnie asks where i would like to go for dinner. By this time in the day the stress has built up so that the knots in my left shoulder were the size of golf balls and i couldnt feel my fingers so i was like fast food and let me go to bed. Okay no biggy. So we went and grabbed mexican, i fixed me a hot bubble bath, after wards he put hot stones on my back to try to relax me and i went to bed. That was my day. Oh and my best friend Tiff and her daughter called to wish me happy birthday. Acutally sing like goofs on my voicemail, but i saved it. But that was my day. End. Nothing more. So last night i jokingly asked where my birthday present was. OF course i didnt ask until after Vinnie comes home with a new recliner for him. He said i'll get it feb 5, meaning the new coffee tables he ordered to replace the ones that we have that he doesnt like. Okay so i'm not above getting furniture for a present. Actually like it. But i LIKE the coffee tables that we have, didnt need to be replaced, no biggy. So i was like so seriously that was my present? His response? "What did i get for my birthday?" I was poor on his birthday. I got him 3 cards (one in his car, one by his meds, and one under his pillow) a goofy tshirt from walmart, i made pasta for dinner, and instead of a cake i bought his favorite pumpkin pie and put a candle in it. After pointing this out he was like "So i have to get you a tshirt and a pie". Whatever. NOT the point. What is my point. The fanfare is gone. Birthdays suck. Screw everyone else. If they care less than you do, and you're in a state of depression anywyas, then it must really suck. I know i'll eventually get over it and forget about it. But it's been bugging me. Actually hurt my feelings, especially since when i commented that no one from my family or my best friend Em even called he jumped on that band wagon. So he said happy birthday. Okay. Then that should be enough. Days over. Move on. This getting old shit sucks.